Working through my thoughts
Namaste Everyone!
I am so incredibly sorry that I have not updated my blog since I left!! Now that I have gotten the hang of things (meaning finding transportation to the nearest internet cafe, etc, etc), I promise that I will update my blog often.
Things are going very well in India. After three weeks, I finally feel as though I am at home. I have really warmed up to my host family and am starting to feel like a part of the family. Its odd how quickly that happens... I assume it's because my stay is so short.
My host parents are amazing, and actually remind me a little bit of you, mom. They are very interested in what I am doing here, but are also understanding of my space and my need to explore India on my own. They make sure to include me in everything that they do... actually, they make sure that we all have family time! No matter what time I get home ( although its usually no later then 6pm), they have me climb into their bed, watch TV - in Hindi of course - and simply talk to me... possibly helping me validate my experiences here. I must say, the first time around it was a bit uncomfortable - laying in bed with my host mom, dad, brother and sanjai (their 'servant' - another, very difficult topic that I wont discuss at this moment). But in the last couple of weeks, it has become something that I really enjoy... My parents have so much love, and show so much affection to those around them that its impossible not to feel it. I am very lucky to have them - I couldn't have asked for a better family.
As for the group, things are going as good as could be expected. We all have a pretty good relationship with one another, though mini-groups have, not surprisingly, started to form. Last weekend we all went to the Taj Mahal (must see it at some point in your life!), however I'm pretty sure it might be the last trip that we do as an entire group (of 14 people).It was a HILARIOUS experience... squeezing 14 people in a tiny room with 10 kid-sized beds, fearing the lizards that camped out above our heads in the room, and refusing to shower over the toilet. I would not change that for the world, but It's a little overwhelming to travel with so many people... I'm beginning to realize that you can't experience India, or any place, without spending some time on your own. It's incredibly frightening to walk around India on my own, especially as a woman, but I have learned so much more from those experiences. It has been an amazing test of my strengths and my ability to exist in a place outside of all that I know.
Classes are going well though it is not all that I expected. Being here has made me realize what am amazing education I am getting at Middlebury College. So many people in the group are stressed out by the work that we are doing and yet I feel as though it is too easy that I need to find more ways to challenge myself. So, being me, I went out and bought a ton of books do begin doing work on my own. I never though that I would do that, but it turns out that having work keeps me centered. I miss the challenge of Middlebury, and of the students there.
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Thoughts...
So ... Last night I went out to celebrate the birthday of two of the girls in the group. Ironically we went to a Moroccan restaurant and then to a beautiful (Trump Tower-like) bar/club at a very up scale hotel near my house. I say ironically because I forget that we were in India for the entire night.... I must say, its odd being in the upper class of a society... its very unlike what I am used to at home - its kind of shocking; Having a servant in the house, buying food at the nicest of places and only spending the equivalent of $10. As I decided to stay in Jaipur this weekend (instead of going to Pushkar), I am finally finding the time to process some of these things. The social dynamics here are so intriguing and yet incredibly heartbreaking. At Middlebury, I feel as though I can make some kind of a difference. Essentially, I can see the effects of the work that I do, even if it is on a small scale. But here, in India... I feel helpless. I could give some food to a child on the street, but what about the ones that follow? I can donate my time and efforts to an orphanage or simply have a conversation with Sanjai, but I can't change the social structure of a place that I have only known for 3 weeks.
posted by Morgane @ 3:36 AM
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